A few years back, I setup tubeless tires for my then road bike. Initially it was a success. However, it ran into problems later on and I went back to tubes in the end.

Long after I left my previous bike, I got another bike. This time I bought a cross country mountain bike. It's been a surprise to me how much things have changed for a mountain bike since the last time I owned one 8 yrs ago. My new bike is a 1-by, which is standard for mountain bikes now. Mountain bikes also have dropper posts as a standard part too. I never seen one of these before. Dropper posts are so great for urban use, you can easily get on and off the bike between traffic while maintaining pedal efficiency. These should be a standard on level-up commuter bikes. A good pair of hydraulic brakes are also very cheap, and even 12/13 speed derailleurs can be had for a decent price.

However, since I'm an N=1 cyclist I probably don't need a bike that run 2.4 tires that released ages ago on 19mm rims for my daily commute. With the new trend of the hard-to-define gravel bike, I decided to change my tire to some low rolling resistance gravel tires. With all the knowledge about rolling resistance I learned on YouTube and the Internet, I realized I should do tubeless again. Even with more puncture resistant tires, tubeless still offers so much less rolling resistance. This time I need to do it right and not do it in a head aching way.

With all the tubeless installation knowledge flowing on the Internet, I want to recommend 4 videos to watch to acquire all the knowledge you could need. These are the best picks after I spend can't-count-how-many hours on researching this topic. Watches these BEFORE you buy anything for your setup!! – How to Setup Tubeless Tires by Park Tool – Tubeless Tire Troubleshooting by Park Tool – Answered: Your Top 5 Selected Tubeless Tire Fail Questions! by SILCA Velo – The SECRET TO INSTALLING TUBELESS WITH A FLOOR PUMP (no air compressor or charger) by Syd Fixes Bikes The 3rd video is especially important, because it talks about some very important knowledge that tutorials won't teach you.

This time I have access to an air compressor, but it didn't help much. In the end I used a booster floor pump with all the different tubeless success rate booster methods combined to finally get my tire seated and it already holds more than a few weeks.

To distill my experience in a hard-to-get-working tubeless setup, this is the list of things I did as success rate addons: – Add more sealant than the sealant bottle tells you to add if you have “Tubeless Ready” tire. The tire will want to drink a lot of sealant during the first week or so. – Ride every-single-day, even if only a few hundred meters, in your first week after you finished setup. Check pressure (pinch the tire by hand is good enough) and pump if needed before riding. – Use a modern sealant. They are simply formulated much better than older ones. – Shake you wheel after it's seated. It's not enough to ride or spin it, because that won't get your sealant to splash enough onto your rim tape to seal gaps in the tape. – If you don't have a wheel truing stand, put your bike upside down when you are installing the rim tape. As the 3rd video instructed, use TPP tape. However TPP tape is usually less sticky than PET tape, and you need to give it LOTS OF tension to have it stick well. So don't use your leg to hold the wheel while pulling the tape, use a stand or a upside-down bike. This way you can use one hand to pull the wheel as hard as you can and use the other hand to pull the tape as hard as you can to give it enough tension to stick well. – Use a tire lever to press down the rim tape firmly for the sides stick to rim under the hook where your hand or a towel can't reac – Use superglue to hold the last section of rim tape – Use a string to tightly wrap around the outer circumference of the tire before pumping – Use soapy water to further reduce the gap between tire and rim

Generally speaking, if you find it extremely hard to sit your tire onto the bead, get the tire to leak less air before considering pumping air into it faster. The speed of pumping is ultimately limited by your valve. Even if you removed your valve core to do the seating, the valve body is still a very tiny tube, and a gap between one section of your tire and the rim can easily be much larger than the area of the valve tube.

Happy cycling, and enjoy the mental preparedness to take on the tubeless setup challenge!

(If you decided to not go for tubeless after reading this, I recommend you to buy some TPU tubes from AliExpress 😊.)

Zero trust security is the golden standard in today's organizational network. It's a systematic approach of network and data security that allows many moving pieces in your network architecture to be untrusted while maintaining a sufficient amount of security and confidence in your data and privacy.

With the amount of connected technology we deploy around ourselves in our everyday lives, the attack surface to our personal data security has never been this big, and zero trust security model can come to rescue. While there are many traditional ways of mitigating various types of threats in home environment such as giving your non-tech-fluent grandpa a Chromebook or isolating your guest and IoT cameras to a separate VLAN, these approaches each has their own drawbacks. For example, a compromised LAN device with a misconfigured switch can lead to VLAN hopping attacks, while giving your grandpa a Chromebook for their security may not be the best idea in the future consider the removal of effective content blocker API in manifest V3 in Chrome browser. We haven't even talk about your bestie losing their cellphone running Android Oreo at a Starbucks. With all these possible problems that are hard to solve or mitigate correctly using a traditional security setup, maybe we should take zero trust model a look. I think this is the most universal way of solving all network and data security problems at home once and for all.

However, home-friendly zero trust security has its own challenges that doesn't exist in the enterprise space. You don't have trusted and robust open-source (or at least free) endpoint protection solutions to use at home (Personally I don't like this idea anyway as it's not privacy friendly and can never be a part of provable security architecture due to its nature of being a cat and mouse game). You also might not want to ask all your friends to install some custom proxy or authentication software on their computers and you still want to invite them to play on your home Minecraft server that tightly couples to your state-of-the-art copy-on-write backup service while waiting on another log4j-style code execution to be found.

In this series I hope I can lead you through the process of designing a robust and comforting (in the aspect of security) home-use zero trust networking model using only open-source software and leave you in satisfactory and peace of mind in the end.

Shelter 是一部动画微电影，讲了一个小女孩在行星撞地球的世界末日来临前懵懵懂懂被工程师父亲塞进他自己为末日而设计制造的逃生飞船逃离地球，永远地漂浮在宇宙中生活在只有自己的孤独的虚拟世界里长大的故事。我觉得非常值得一看，也能带来些许关于人生或是人生的意义的思考。

建议先看完 Shelter 再来继续阅读本文，以下包含了完整的故事叙述。

故事采取了“倒叙”的手法，17岁的少女先在梦中简单自白了自己难以去思考自己似乎很沉重的过去，而只能生活在这个只有自己的世界里。醒来的时候抱起手边已经7年没有新消息的平板在上面画画，而自己所绘就会生成出外界世界的样子，少女可以走出们在广阔的“大自然”中玩耍，在自己所描绘的景观地貌中享受时光；少女也自我安慰着在这只有自己的世界里自己并不孤独。在一天的玩耍中，少女遇到了一颗并非由自己所描绘的树，而树上挂着一个自己熟悉而陌生的藤蔓和树枝做成的秋千。当少女触摸到那个秋千的时候，万千回忆里的镜头涌上心头，少女却不知如何整理这些记忆，在未来的几天里少女 continued wondering with more and more flashback recalled from memory. 直到大约一个月之后，平板突然在自己的绘板上自己显现出了东京的楼房，而外面的世界也梦回东京。

少女走进了这个由她的过去组成的世界，在其中虽然不能与其他物品交互，却突然有了人类出现，是她的爸爸和7岁的她。在这个世界里，她看到她爸爸在世界末日前的许多年好好照顾她，尽力给予她快乐的时光，而没有让她接触世界末日即将来临的现实。她也看到了多年来她爸爸设计制造了送她逃离地球的飞船，这些让她回忆起、也了解到了现在的虚拟生活背后的一切，却无法抓住这样的过去和爱着自己的父亲。在过去的现实世界之旅的最后，她读到了平板上她爸爸留给她的最后的信:

キミが生まれてから、あまりにも時間がなさすぎた。 お母さんがなくなってからキミにどれだけの愛情をそそげただろうか・・・。 父さんは元気なキミをみて勇気づけられたよ(^_^)

本当は一緒に行ければよかったんだけど、それは出来なかった。 全部忘れて進んで欲しいと思ったんだ・・・ キミなら大丈夫だって。 さびしさを知ってしまって、思い出すだろう。

キミが強くなってこの文を読んでくれると信じて。 もっとたくさんの思い出を作れればよよかったね。 ごめんよ。 小さい時はよくわからなかったと思うけど、今ならきっと。

あの日の言葉をもう一度。

其中除了因没法更多的在一起生活道歉与期待自己在有限的时间里给少女倾注了足够的爱以外，重点是劝慰此时能看到信 说明心思已经足够成熟 的少女能忘掉过去的回忆，祝福她能坚强而不受孤独困扰的走下去。而少女看了信也重拾了完整的回忆之后告诉自己 ：

即使回忆多么悲伤，我也会相信自己继续走下去。 就算意识到自己的孤独、将要放弃一切，想到与你一起的这份回忆也会让我再次坚强。 因为有你的陪伴，我并不是独自一人的。

短片以少女如此的自白收尾，又呼应了歌词中的:

and I know I'm not alone you'll be watching over us until you're gone

当时看完PV的时候，就立刻想起了自己在 不存在 离开的时候想起的关于 牵绊、回忆、和陪伴 的观点。感觉这个作品的总结让我这样的想法更加清晰了：作为智慧生命的我们，是可以仅仅凭自己留下的回忆陪伴着别人的，并与永远分开的人继续互相陪伴着在时间线上走下去的。不论是天人相隔，还是其他形式的被迫断链与永别，在不再交汇的轨迹上大家依然为回忆所牵绊着，而这份回忆就足以让智慧生命不独自前行了。

写到这里的时候，我觉得需要点出 默认永别只是永别本身，而不带有意识的消逝之类的变化，是解读死亡的意义时非常好用也做了尽可能少的 assumption 的思想实验。

今天还突然在 reddit 上被 remind 了 Optimistic Nihilism，我觉得是可以和之前关于 Shelter 的这段感想联系要一起的人生观。在第一次被介绍了这样观点的时候我就感到非常的认同，今天在 ContraPoints 的 reddit 版里看到一些其他网友也认同这样的人生观感到挺欣慰的。

暂且直译为“乐观虚无主义”，这个词在中文互联网上讨论的并不多，但是似乎都是这样翻译的。乐观虚无主义是一种从 生命的出现对于这个宇宙来说太过稀松平常，而每个人类甚至人类族群也只是宇宙的历史中的匆匆过客 出发，而相信人生命的意义并不由他人赋予、可以由自己决定的 人生观。在这样的人生观中，生命所经历的体验 就是生命的全部意义来源，所以去收集美好而多的体验和回忆便成了人生的主要目的。这样的 memory collection as purpose of life 的想法似乎我多年前就已经意识到，也难怪会在接触到乐观虚无主义的时候一下子就非常认可了。

联系到 Shelter 的剧情：少女与世界上的所有其他人永别之后，是在自己的回忆和自己用画笔创造的世界中生活的。也许有一天当自己与世界上的其他人都分开的时候，也是会就这样永远独自生活在从自己的回忆构建起的世界里的吧；而那时可以相伴的生命也都只能是作为回忆存在于自己的世界里陪伴着自己的了。所以，请好好收集美好的回忆呢。

文字有些笨拙，见谅。

最近关于恋爱这个话题在我身边出现的尤其的多（也许既不是最近也不是身边吧）。关于恋爱 Drama 的新闻在我的时间线引出了大讨论，其中不乏看一眼就觉得非常错误的观点；而身边的人给我递来刷新的恋爱观和被我近距离观察的有好有坏的恋爱经历，也让我对此想了许多。积攒到今天早晨，凌晨醒来继续刷着恋爱大讨论时间线，便思绪万千、越想越多，开始问自己要“我想要怎样的恋爱关系”这个问题的答案。于是写下此文，以此整理下思绪。

以猫球的生活习性，可能除了在猫球架上弹上弹下，或者在墙角晕晕乎乎冒心心，并没有什么特别的追求。好像很容易就可以傻乎乎很开心的样子，或者说只要不想太多就能稳定在猫球状态，就可以傻乎乎很开心了！有的时候会有自己想做的事情，想有其他生物开心的一起做；或者有的时候猫猫展开想出去溜达也想有个伴。贴贴也是很重要的事情！猫球可以靠在其他软乎乎暖乎乎的生物上面，尤其是被揉搓的话，也能冒出好多小心心。浑身外皮都很敏感的猫球喜欢多蹭蹭软软的东西。

于是能让猫球保持傻乎乎、软乎乎，还可以蹭蹭并且一起做事出去玩的伴侣，翻译成人类的说法，是怎样的定义呢？“一起搭伙过日子可以感到幸福和暖心的玩伴” ，这样一条长长的定义在我早晨苦恼的时候突然从脑子里冒了出来，仔细想想的确 tick all my boxes。这句话拆开有四个要素：“一起搭伙过日子”“幸福”“暖心”“玩伴”。“一起搭伙过日子”指的是同居有日常生活，可以腻在一起。“幸福”的含义很复杂，但是好像大家也都能理解，就同居生活质量比较好、能长期的感受到喜欢或者在乎。听人说过长期的关系很难一直有喜欢或者爱，我觉得不是这样的，猫球心心可以一直冒。“暖心”就是感到被爱、温暖、有安全感。”玩伴“大概是这四个要素里最distinguishing的特征，可以拆开细讲。

不知道读者的回忆里是怎样的，我对儿时的玩伴的记忆里是不包括需要怎样努力耕耘才能维持亲密的关系的，这点在现在对人类的恋爱观察中感觉十分难能可贵：就...感觉好多人是需要好好打理自己的亲密关系才能维持良好的亲密关系的。我觉得“玩伴”的定义是不包括这段感情本身需要怎样被打理的，维持很棒的关系可以是自然发生的事情，而不是需要费心思才能发生的事情。之前在食堂听同事聊过公司组织的集体滑雪活动，（但是后来不再组织类似的大型活动了，不过的确有发 well-being bonus，旨意是让大家自己选择拿去做让自己开心的事情），有人说比起滑雪不如像现在这样发钱让大家自己觉得怎么玩，那位聊起滑雪的同事并不赞同这个说法，觉得公司投入去给大家参与有趣的团建活动、增进大家的感情是很难得的事情。对具体哪种好我其实没有特别的想法，也许我会选滑雪，因为没人组织的话自己找攻略去玩大概比较嫌麻烦，就很可能不会去这么有趣的事情了。提到这个是因为那天我在听了那段话之后，又想起了这个问题：为什么人类之间的关系是要靠这样的“团建活动”来耕耘维护的呢？我的确能理解这样背后的原因，但是觉得自己的亲密关系不应该是需要特殊的maintainance的：一起生活、一起照顾对方、一起出去玩 是因为喜欢、爱、开心，而不应该是为了维护关系而去维护关系的事情。我能理解专门去维护关系如果能带来关系稳定性的提升的话，这种稳定性本身的价值，但是理想的感情不应当需要这些，我也经历过（并不是恋爱关系的）不需要专门维护的比较亲密的关系，所以我相信这是可能做到而不是可望不可及的事情。

玩伴的另一方面是可以一起做都觉得有趣的事情，或者一方觉得有趣另一方也不觉得无聊的事情，或者一起出去玩，总之要有一起参与的开心的活动。“玩伴”的最后一方面是希望感情和关系能像儿时的小伙伴之间一样单纯。这里的“单纯”也许并不是很彻底的褒义：成人世界里人际关系的原则中不单纯的一面也有被认为好的一面，比如“为他人思考”这种想法，其实是很复杂而高级的，而不是“简单纯粹”的情感中所能轻易囊括的。美好的玩伴关系应该不需要 intentionally considerate a lot to be considerate enough，而是绝大部分时候几乎不用考虑对方的想法就能满足对方的需求了。做到这样大概需要比较高的契合度，但是不少幸福的人都遇到了。

前段时间和朋友出去吃饭，被卖了一个我已经吃了的安利：开放关系。对我来说开放关系中的伴侣就是 “可以感到幸福和暖心的玩伴”。那位朋友说感觉自己很粘人所以开放关系比较合适，这样就不会让一个伴侣感到压力或者精力消耗过大。我觉得出于比这多很多的理由，都可以得到开放关系是最好的关系形式。现代计算机系统都开始在各方面实现高可用了，亲密关系用同样的哲学实现高可用便是开放关系。不管是出于 load balancing 还是因为人的生死终究是一个不可预见的 MTBF 模型，大概高可用的亲密关系都是更容易过的幸福的方式。而开放关系下因为不需要 explicit failover，参与的人都对各种 life events 有了更强的承受能力。

写在最后的部分是今早写这篇文章的时候得知另一个朋友刚去和对象轻描淡写的领了结婚证。相比之下，感觉自己的进度条进展好慢，我还在 struggle 感情问题的时候别人已经找到了可以定终身的伴侣。祝福他们。

从结婚的誓言，我又想到似乎 “一起搭伙过日子可以感到幸福和暖心的玩伴” 没有考虑的问题，比如对方遇到负面的 life events 之后”负责人“帮助对方的问题。细想下其实这一点也并没有被略过，当一段感情是”幸福和暖心“、能感受到“爱与被爱”的时候，在对方需要的时候为对方付出本就是最自然的事情吧。

从前在美国最东边的地方也就只去过 Chicago，这次终于到了传说中的大都会呢。从前对纽约的印象都是一些来自各种二手资料的碎片（现在的大概也是），从时代广场上的什么蚂蚱（？）（以及是不是我搞错了什么，还是现在时代广场真的就只有楼没有广场了？）到在那边很浪的同学。同学是真的很浪，该抽烟的抽烟，该约炮的约炮。加州猫猫就乖乖躲回自己的猫爬架上去了。

这次住在（并没有猫爬架）的同学家里，于是只能睡沙发了。感觉同学的精神状态不太好，大概纽约的环境和她之前不顺利的恋爱各占一半原因吧（不过感觉自己待那边的最后几天好像看她开心了不少，重新看到她开心的样子好开心）。纽约的天气经常阴沉沉的，加上冬天的寒冷，也难以钻出被窝，就对精神状态影响比较大，加上天黑得早，就比起加州，不论是SF还是LA，都容易得SAD （季节性抑郁）多了（自己和人类观察的感觉）。如果在纽约能 Setup 好自己适应这个地方的生活方式还好，不然这样的光照和天气真的让自己的生活节奏难以打理好很多，于是就心情低沉而烦躁。

自己游玩的绝对不够透彻（很多时候在上班），但是感觉纽约的美食的确没有我想象中的那样出彩（可能是这只会在灶台上蹦来蹦去还偶尔能烧到自己毛的猫猫口味太挑）。也许不至于是美食荒漠，但是很多大都会人士所渲染的那种遍地美食也并不存在。有尝试那种看起来很精致的小店，口味挺一般；而街头的pizza（并没吃 99 cents的）感觉出了并没有什么味道的cheese给了很多以外也毫无惊喜。还要吐槽一下西安名吃，那辣油根本就不香啊，还没我自己做的香，不知道哪来的勇气说自己 “not spicy means not as good” 的，面条口感口味也都挺一般的；蹭住的小姐姐在我去之前就给我泼过冷水了，的确泼的很到位。总之也许是去的地方不对吧，从我肤浅的纽约美食文化观察（指在 YouTube 上刷 Bon Appetite 和其他几个纽约厨子的频道）好吃的小店也许应该在 Brooklyn 找（？）（好像 “From Brooklyn” 的确比 “From Manhattan” 给我的 impression 不太一样，不知道是不是数据点太少的原因），但是并没有幸光临 Brooklyn （好忙啊 quq，加上生活节奏不对所以效率很低，时间就非常不够）。

住的地方其实在 Jersey City，并不在纽约州。不过感觉 NYC 的定义不如改成 Port Authority 管辖范围比较合适（），Jersey City 和 Newark 感觉比 Long Island 都有存在感（。 NJ Transit 的轻轨我很喜欢，干净舒适，有那种很优雅的电车的感觉，相比之下 PATH 就很老破小。PATH 在 Hudson River 下面的狭窄的隧道里只能靠一直刹车减速来适应狭窄而弯还很急的隧道。MTA 的话我至今也没搞清是怎么个工作方式，工作方式感觉乱到有股 k8s 高可用的味了（就是总有东西是不能用的，但是绝大部分都是能用的，所以是能用的）。MTA 作为也很有历史的轨道交通系统，不少车做了内饰翻新，我觉得很棒，这个思路改造老地铁可以说从用户体验上讲很划算了。

去了 Jersey City 边上的大华，感觉好多好棒的东西！好多神奇的，我之前想都不敢想的食材都有：比如 脆肉鲩 和 鱼面筋 / 鱼腐。我是完全没有想到超市里居然还有这种冻品的。大华里还有很便宜的活的青蟹，和被我蹭住的小姐姐一起买了几只回家蒸了，的确很好吃（好久没吃好吃的螃蟹了呜呜呜）（猫猫要海鲜！）。

纽约人还是挺”不文明“的？那种不会帮人推门，或者你帮人推门了不会说谢谢的那种。之前在芝加哥地铁上印象很深的一幕是一个黑人大哥哥帮一个来不及下车的女士直接拉了按规定不该拉的紧急开门把手，让那女士顺利下了车，我理解为一种混乱善良的乐于助人（？），但是纽约人的不”文明“就是缺少善意的了。和另一个同学吃饭讨论到这个现象，他说”这里那么多homeless，谁把你当人啊“。听他这么说挺难过的，怼了一句”不把homeless当人本来就是不对的“。下次再来纽约想人类观察一下 homless shelter的运营。IIRC 好像纽约的这块有大腐败drama。这次也没有去圣地巡礼 Louis Rossman 的维修小店（去打扰人家公司显然是不合适的，不过我连门口都没去唉）。

法拉盛在我的印象中也是很神奇的地方，想起之前是撞车还是抢车位来着让两个高级车车主直接大打出手的搞笑视频，就想去这种文化产出的地方围观一下。去了一下，感觉比起想象中的和视频中看过的中国县城味还是有很多美国味的。去那的“地铁”（那段好像完全不在地下？）上大部分不是华人面孔，而那地方很多加州也能常见的 华人agent/realtor/lawyer 广告，就还是挺美国华人社区，而不是中国乡下小县城的。不过进了mall，看到神奇的美甲作坊、超市、火锅店 和整个楼里土味的装潢和混乱的店面组合与布局，就又感受到那味了。随便去的超市里并没有看到新鲜牛蛙，略微有点失望。

说到在纽约好多时间在上班，那自然不能沉迷 WFH（所以是沉迷办公室）。办公室给我的感觉就那种 人都很好，说话又好听….. 嗯，感觉回到了加州人的文明世界呢。食堂的菜口味还蛮好的，而且感觉比加州鱼类丰富很多，猫猫开心，感觉比起南湾的办公室 chef 要有存在感的多，更多有趣的菜是要直接和 chef 要的。不知道是不是因为疫情的原因，没有之前去 SF 办公室的食堂给我的那种更惊艳的感觉，还是有不少莫名其妙口味也一般的食物的，但是至少比湾区要丰富嘛。可惜没法 book desk 再借一个显示器，工作效率还是比较捉急的。纽约办公室的零食饮料比湾区丰富好多，这方面我也很喜欢。

想下次做好美食攻略在那租几个月房子好好边上班边玩。这地方作为一个大城市，没什么好纯玩的，而如果上班却又没有 Setup 好以至于不需要花费什么时间打理的生活方式的话，就挤不出什么时间太多闲逛了。好多是明确景点的地方这次也没去，比如911大水池/纪念馆 啊（有一天坐车到世贸中心，看到地图上的纪念馆，就在想这地方是不是干脆挂个牌 “美国蓝色文化教育基地”好了（x）（蓝色在美国的社会语境下可以指支持警察/执法者），然后教育大家好好支持 DHS 继续压迫大家（前情提要：ACLU 说 911过去20年了，DHS在911之后建立，这20年干了什么事大家也有目共睹，该拆掉了）），还有自由女神像。

我还活着，我还存在在这个世界上，可是有的人呢，已经不了。或许是见惯了生命的消逝，也或是自己所在的 Community 已经让生命的消逝成了司空见惯的事情，第一反应竟是：生活还要继续啊。不知道为什么有了这样的思维定势，也难以去思考自己存在的意义，自己曾经给自己定义过的存在的意义就是陪着大家吧。可是如果大家都渐渐远去......

[00:49.23] 『总有一天我们会孤身一人』いつか人（ひと）は一人（ひとり）になって [00:56.79] 『只能在回忆中苟存』思（おも）い出（で）の中（なか）に生（い）きてくだけ

不存在的意义

与她相见已是快4年前的那个夏天，在广工大的教室里，看着穿着百褶裙、已经被更年长的大家看着慢慢长大几年的小可爱，认真的和旁人说着话。那是我少有的在国内线下和大家玩耍的机会，也见到了快成长为完全体的她。

脑海中的画面有些静态，但是群里几年前到几天前飞舞的文字却就躺在那里。虽然知道体弱多病，但是一切还是来的太突然了。年轻的生命...嗯...年轻的生命又有什么特别的呢？...就这样离自己远去了。

以后如果还想再次成为人类的话，祝能出生就是女孩子，生在幸福的家庭吧，也不要再选到持续病痛的身体了。

心和心的联系

也许作为智慧生命，离别总是难以避免的，不论是身边就有的天人两隔，还是若是没有超光速旅行在遥远的未来总有智慧生命所需要面对的 再也不见。作为智慧生命能与这样，总是把大家扯开的，宇宙法则相对抗的也许就是去相信心与心的联系。作为能感受到情感的生命体，相信彼此的心还在什么地方存在着，就算再也无法触碰，也还会记得、能感受到 对方。就算已经静态化的 SHMEM，也许也是彼此还有一些层面上连接的证明吧。

最后

再 wishful thinking 一下，希望 不存在 还在可以够到的世界里存在呢。

So I have been a “casual cyclist” for some time now. From cross-country bike to road bike, I have used at least 4 bikes since I found myself enjoying cycling. However, one thing have always been plaguing my cycling journey: blown-off tubes. I never really understand types of blown-off tubes, which is why I put a quotation mark on “casual cyclist” as even though I (previously) ride a lot, my knowledge about cycling and bikes is pretty limited.

After I moved to Bay area, and started my “extreme” but scientific self-designed weight loss program (I might discuss this later in this blog), I found myself in need to find a sports program to help maintain some of my overly-high (compare to my ideal body composition) muscle mass to help maintain my base metabolic rate. I tried VR games and cycling.

Well, it's more like a cycling rehab to me, and I definitely loss a lot of strength and endurance for not on wheels for 4 years (there are times I did ride some, such as when I just got my current bike second-handed). I installed in-line brake levers to better help me riding in an endurance bike position and tuned my brakes, also re-lubed my drive chain.

After all these “upgrades” was done, I found myself having a flat front tire, maybe due to tube aging (the tubes are still the ones I got from the previous-owners when I bought the bike ~2 years ago). I bought some new tubes and changed it, pumped it up with my small on-bike hand pump, and didn't think too much.

I went on a ride and it was fine (in the sense of the bike mechanically, but my body got some serious problem and it's off-topic from this blog so let's ignore it). Next time I want to ride to my friends' home to help a friend with her homework, and my back-tube blown off while I'm on the road. I still didn't understand why the tube are blown off like most of the times I got a blown-off back in high school.

I got home, and was thinking about the problem. I searched for a lot of information and start to know different types of flat such as puncture flat and pinch flat, or in my case, after I inspected the tube, a valve flat: the rubber under the valve got a massive opening.

This is when I start to recall all my previous flats during high school (when I ride a lot). There are maybe 30% puncture flat, 10% valve flat, and other 60% (can be even higher) are all pinch flat. I don't even have a metered floor pump at that time (so I never know what PSI my wheels are on compare to the numbers on the tires).

I also recalled why my current bike is so easy to get flat compare to my high school one: my high school bike, being a low-end road bike, uses a pair of 700x28c and much harder tires, while the previous owner gave me a pair of 700x23c soft and smooth tires on my bike. I also only pumped my current bike with a weak hand pump.

After a lot of reading, I decided to go down the rabbit hole of road tubeless with wider tires (700x28c as it's the widest safe/non-conflicting choice for upgrading on a bike designed for 700x23c). With its benefit of avoiding almost all pinch flat (how hard will it be to pinch outer tires? even softer and less-protective ones) and self-healing of small punctures (sometimes even bigger punctures, I watched this video on real world testing of how big a hole can be sealed and was impressed). Meanwhile valve flat will just be impossible (besides installation problems or nuts weakening which you can fix very easily with bare hands and re-pump your bike) as valves are now separate components, directly installed on the rim and not connected to some welding points on very thin rubber.

It's truly a rabbit hole (spoiler: I went down all the way and it's perfect). I did a lot of further research on it and received a lot of conflict information. For example on Stan's (a lead tubeless components manufacturer in bikes) FAQ page It says

Section: ROAD TUBELESS Q: Can I convert any road wheel to tubeless? A: It is our experience that most 700c road rims can be converted to tubeless with two layers of Yellow Tape, a Universal Valve, sealant and a Road Tubeless tire. Please check with the manufacturer of your rim for their recommendations on tubeless use prior to any conversion.

Section: TUBELESS CONVERSION Q: Can I convert my non-tubeless mountain bike rim to tubeless with tape and valve only or will I need a rim strip? A: No. “Tape and Valve” conversions are only appropriate with rims that are labelled as “Tubeless Ready,” “Tubeless Compatible,” or similar. The BST (Bead Socket Technology) profile developed by Stan's NoTubes was a departure from traditional bicycle rim design and its core concept is the basis for the vast majority of “tubeless-ready” rims and wheels on the market today. Stan's Yellow Tape is not, by itself, a tubeless conversion for older, traditional, non-“tubeless-ready” rims. These older rims require the use of a Stan’s NoTubes Rim Strip (now discontinued) to re-shape the rim bed to achieve a safe, secure tubeless setup This reshaping creates a much more secure BST-like fit between the tire and the rim, allowing for easier inflation/setup and eliminating burping. While Stan's Rim Strips have been discontinued, we continue to provide information and resources to assist in converting non-tubeless-ready wheels.

When I open the “information and resources” page, it discussed a lot about rim strip but it's all about mountain bike, it started to confuse me, e.g. are tubeless conversion good for road but not good for mountain bike? Then I found this video How To Setup Tubeless Road Bike Tyres – Everything You Need To Know from BikeRadar and it suggests mountain bikes can do tubeless conversion safely due to its low pressure but road tubeless needs to have specific tubeless-ready rims and tires. This Tubeless Tire Compatibility article from Park Tool (lead manufacture of tools for bike mechanics) suggests

A tubeless ready rim will have a sidewall with a hooked design, which helps catch and hold the bead. Older rims will appear rounded without a hook shape. The shape of the rim will force the bead up snug against the outer hook, and will have a deep section in the middle to make it easier to remove.”

while it's known that automotive tubeless rims are hookless and some bikes also have hookless rims for tubeless setup as said in this article: The Hookless Bead Rim: How It Works & Who They’re For – by ENVE Composites. In the previous Will it Seal video (timestamp included in the link) GCN presenters personally endorsed these Cinturato Velo tires (they mentioned these are sent by the manufacturer for free, but the video doesn't have a link to buy these tires in the description, the video also doesn't have the “include paid promotion” tag on YouTube) for their protection, and protection is one of the major selling points of these tires according to manufacturer's website. Because I don't have much experience in picking tires, I chose this one as my new front tire accordingly and found out there are clear marking on both the tire and it's packaging: “Does not fit TSS (hookless) rims” which is conflicting to

As you can see, in a tubeless world, hook-beads serve no purpose assuming that the rim and tire are interfacing correctly.

claimed in the article about hookless rims. It's also conflicting with this part of the Stan's FAQ page:

Section: Wheels & Rims Q: What tires can I use? A: Road tires, or any tire you intend to inflate over 40psi, must be specifically labeled for tubeless use, as these tires will have beads designed specifically to accommodate the higher loads seen in a high-pressure tubeless application. When in doubt, consult the manufacturer of your tire. Road tires that are labeled “Use only with hook bead rims” should never be used tubeless.

(For more background knowledge on tubeless bike setup, just watch some top result videos from YouTube on bike tubeless installation, I was only discussing conflicting information I received.)

With all these conflicting information, I proceed with tubeless-related purchasing and installation. I got the Cinturato Velo for front tire and Tufo Comtura 3 TR for my back tire for its bead to bead high strength fiber protection. I tried to install my back tire first (as it was flat since my previous ride and I never changed its tube for going tubeless directly). I very unprofessionally (some of the previous research I mentioned are done after this attempt) put 1 layer of tubeless rim tape directly on top of the previous tape for inner-tube, and didn't stretch the tubeless rim tape enough to reduce bubbles, tried to fit valves and put tire in. I found is super hard to put the tires in, I almost want to give up once but I finally did it.

Then I found out I can't pump the tire up/seat the tire with my newly bought up-to-80psi car pump (because it's airflow is too slow, or not as fast as canister or compressor), even with sealant in. There's a big leak near the valve and it looks like the valve is preventing the tire near valve from touching the aluminum of the rim (turns out a well-seated tire doesn't need to have the tire bead touching rims in a hooked tubeless setup as I lately find out). So I brought both tubes and new tires to a bike shop and they are very helpful. I told them it's urgent as I need it back in 2 days and they think it's possible to have them done in the day between. A day later I got a call from them saying they don't have correct rim tape for my bike so they need to special order it. I decided to get them back to try DIY again since I need to move the bike pretty urgently. They didn't touch my back wheel but gave me a front wheel with my new front tire already on it (reversed) and my original good inner tube inside but rim tape was changed to yellow Stan's tubeless rim tape, not fully covered with 2 layers but looks to be correctly installed (implies tape size does fit). This means they probably didn't have enough correctly-sized tubeless rim tape in stock and tried to put back as what I have gave them (my front tire was inflated with an inner tube with old tires when I gave them). They also gave me back the old rim tape (it's a rubber band actually so it's reusable) and old tires from the front tube. They didn't charge me anything for their failed attempt so I really appreciated their work (I'll visit them again next time if something went wrong with my bike that I can't fix myself, due to there fair price for parts and labor and friendly service).

One thing I found very valuable from this bike shop experience is that when I gave them my wheels and new tires, I told them my rims are not tubeless-specific but the new tires are tubeless ready. They doubled checked the labels on my new tires and found it doable. This increased my confidence largely as now I can have some very basic but reliable (since it's from direct experience of mechanics) information about the feasibility of road tubeless conversion.

This time I got myself more prepared, I got more sealant: a bottle of finish line fiber-based sealant (many people criticize it for its no-refresh-needed claim, but by reading Amazon review I think they are mostly MTB riders that have porous tires, road tubeless tires needs to withstand much higher pressure thus are less porous and road riders are giving positive review to this sealant. I chose it mainly for its less refresh needed and easy clean up property, compare to normal latex sealant). New valves that have a shape that looks like can help with the falsely-perceived seating problem, and CO2 canister inflation system.

Turns out after the tire are correctly seated by CO2 with popping sound, it doesn't matter if the tire is touching the inner side of rim or not because it is pushed by air pressure against the bead to seal itself. The new valves are problematic (with my too-big rim tape puncture for the valve) as it's leaking through the rim tape hole, I had to add double o-rings to fix this. In the end it worked and my car pump can pump air in both tires and they hold pressure (verified by squeezing tire by hand) over night after I fixed leaking. The back tire (Tufo) sealed after 1 attempt of inflation after seating besides the valve leaking, adding another o-ring and re-pump find it completely sealed. The front tire installation is much easier and that makes me realize the back tire is so hard to put on is because of the all-round high strength anti-puncture fiber instead of being tight for tubeless. The front tire took 2 round of pumping to completely seal the beads. This time I also watched in detail about how to apply rim tape and correctly applied them by stretching hard.

The last obstacle is clearance. As suggested by many people, a 700-23C bike frame and fork should fit 700-28C, and they do fit. However, my front brake is conflicting with my front tire after inflation. I tuned the brake tighter so it give more room from its brake arm to the wheel, and installed the wheel tightly in the lower position in its axis clearance.

With all these solved at night, the next day I verified they still hold pressure (by squeezing again) and took my now tubeless bike for a ride. I ride ~25km and it doesn't loss pressure or have front wheel touching brake again. I call this a success tubeless conversion.

“Whew, That was one hell of a ride” down the road tubeless rabbit hole.

Please bare me with my bad writing, not proof-reading due to feeling so tired after finish writing it, and disabled grammarly for obvious privacy reasons. It seems grammarly have changed their ToS since then(?) according to their FAQ on this topic but I still don't trust their service (and I'm no longer a student that need to finish college writing class UwU).

前几天本来有个脑洞做个放了蛋黄酱的拌面吃，吃过 一平夜店烧 这个系列的方便版面的应该都知道有多好吃，只是一盒600卡路里实在令人不敢碰，尤其是我在减肥。

最近减肥的diet是一个超低卡路里的高蛋白diet，大约每天300卡路里，所以不盯着高蛋白的食物吃就会蛋白质不够。在我意识到海鲜的超高 蛋白质:卡路里 比例之后，就很优先吃海鲜，几乎在做 pescatarian diet 了。

于是做了一个蛋黄酱海鲜汤面（我用的魔芋面），意外的超级好吃，也不会把汤里各种油脂都吃下肚里。这里分享一下菜谱：

1. 用尽可能少的水煮一点汤不会腥的海鲜，我今晚煮了虾仁和蛏子（水越少下一步能留住在碗里的海鲜汤就越浓）
2. 煮沸一段时间之后打去浮沫，连汤倒进一个碗里，大概水位约半个碗，之后面条放进去之后不应当能把面条盖住，不然后面调味就需要加过多的调料
3. 拿剩下的水加冷水，烧开之后煮面
4. 在煮面的时候往海鲜汤里用咖啡勺随便挖一大勺白味增，化开，加入喜欢的油辣酱（我加的是饭扫光爽脆木耳）
5. 面条煮好之后冲凉沥干放进碗里拌匀
6. 在碗里挤大概手抓饼用量的日式蛋黄酱拌匀
7. 以调咸味为目的加少许日本酱油
8. 此时会得到一份味道很醇厚的白汤，但是并不厚，拌匀开吃。水位因为没有没过面条，优先从底下在汤里的部分捞着吃。

顺序很重要，把蛋黄酱加进刚出炉的滚烫的汤里是会结小颗粒的。汤里油比较多如果全吃下肚比较不健康，感觉面条挂着稀稀的汤汁的口味和香气就很满足了，想更重口味一些可以用勺子就着一点汤吃。我今晚用魔芋面条做了这个，最后忍不住尝了一小勺汤，实在太好喝了，味道十分醇厚，也没有日式蘸面的汤那么腻。

对于国内的小伙伴，一部分食材是可以替代的：

• 日本酱油 –> 生抽
• 白味噌 –> 磨豉酱（需要减少用量，因为更咸）

国内最常见的 丘比色拉酱 就是日式蛋黄酱。这里主要是区分于北美常见的酸味更重的蛋黄酱。

标题叫观后感总觉得怪怪的，仿佛是小学的时候被学校拉去看暴力血腥的抗战或者国共内战的电影之后的作业。不过我的确是“观”的，今晚玩着玩着（虽然中间也有存档）显卡驱动更新把游戏画面弄freeze了就没继续完了。上YouTube找了一个12分钟的全结局视频下下来拆成帧，把感兴趣的几个结局顺着故事线都理解清楚了，也算观看过了吧。有几段很重要的文字回忆虽然没搞清怎么开始回忆的，但是也都读过了。至于“感”，可能更多还是自己的情感吧。

剧透警告

豆腐慢慢长成猫猫球的过程和苏半夏是有些相似的，虽然没那么好的家境，但是也是被高压对待最后寄到了国外慢慢长成了本来的样子，对True End线（也包括分叉前）的男主和女主都有好多共鸣之处。比如自己是会去救人的那个，也是很多时候需要被救的那个。

游戏中的一处关键选择前的几句台词让我想起了自己去年才从很多很多事情中想通的一点：

顾韦： 这样一份感情，到底是不是“被人决定的”，有什么意义吗？ 钟齐北： 这样想的话，你就是永远的工具人了啊。

“这样一份感情”如果是自己真心的感情，那么单纯因为自己对它的态度，就已经不需要在意是不是“被人决定的”了，不在乎正是自己对自己感情的一致的体现啊；而为了守护这份感情中的其他人，当“工具人”也许只是责任一般的事情？

另一处则是关于True End前的这个最终的选择本身，如果自己和自己在意的对方只能选择一个存在的时候，选择对方也许是更明智的选择。撇开游戏中可能更想体现的“牺牲”，单纯不想生活在一个没有自己在意的对方的世界就已经足够劝退选择自己了吧。若是忽略掉两人在结局的行为，而是对那夜前后做一个diff，其实就是两人都忘记了对方而都生活下去了。那现实中被迫“相忘于江湖”又是怎样痛苦的事情呢。

自己曾经想过，自己回国会不会因为类似的原因被父母也送去那样的学校，即使自己已经经济独立了也过得不错。后来想想，也许那样子出来之后就会一心一意消失了吧，而作品中苏半夏的想法也与我差不多。其实真的很心疼受过了那样一番折腾还选择努力活着的人，他们都好厉害呢。

还有一段很打动我的地方，是顾韦把苏半夏背起来的那段中半夏表白之后的那段对话：

苏半夏： 如果有一天我不在了，你会怎么样？ 顾韦： 我会去找你。 苏半夏： 如果找不到呢？ 顾韦： 那就一直，一直，一直找下去 苏半夏： “再说一次。” 顾韦： 那就一直，一直，一直找下去 苏半夏： 谢谢你。

想起来之前一对认识的迷失的情侣中一边苦苦找着另一边的故事。痴情的故事总是很美丽呢。想抱住再也不用分开。

写了个我觉得北美大概还找得到原料并且比较偷懒的酸菜鱼菜谱，发出来给大家分享。参考了不少菜谱和视频总体上把必要和不必要的事情做了一些区分（感觉自己在跑 boosting），并且根据各种步骤的目的做了些许调整。

1. 切鱼，把filet好的鱼骨头斩段，从filet上取下肋骨也一起斩段，鱼头可弃之不用。片鱼片的时候 鱼肉面朝上，从鱼尾那头开始片，下斜刀的方向是从鱼头到鱼尾
2. 处理鱼：如果鱼片鱼骨黏手需要用盐抓洗，不然清水冲泡即可。如果鱼肉强度高可以挤干水分，不然沥干即可。鱼骨用盐和料酒腌制，鱼肉加入盐、白胡椒、油、蛋清，搅拌上劲之后加入淀粉继续拌匀
3. 处理酸菜：切中段，有较厚的梗子的话可以切成薄片（也可以不切，炒起来更慢一些），下锅煸熟。酸咸很不平衡或者有烂味需要先焯水。pickled jalapeno 切厚圈。
4. 处理香料：葱切大段和葱花，生姜切小片
5. 处理配菜：豆腐切小块，宽粉需要泡可以泡，白菜切段，etc.
6. 热油下姜、蒜、泡椒、小米辣、少许花椒，油里撒盐然后下鱼骨，煎香，下料酒带走腥味
7. 加沸水，大火烧开，当大火烧开一段时间过后加高汤（可以是冷的）
8. 加配菜、酸菜一起煮，煮一段时间（大约10分钟）过后加盐、白胡椒、少许糖调味到target
9. 另起一小锅加热油，放花椒、干辣椒、葱段爆出香味。
10. 鱼汤关火散开放入鱼片，浸30秒到一分钟，撒葱花。
11. 把热油浇鱼汤锅上

可以直接吃成酸菜鱼或者作为酸菜鱼火锅，作为火锅的话要先吃完鱼片再开火煮火锅，所以开涮之前的配菜可以煮的时候下。